Vulnerability from OPT

My coach that I do my training with is part of OPT and is so knowledgable about great things. When I go to do research I run into road blocks because often it is from OPT that the task or programming part came from. I decided to subscribe to their blog to gain some of this great knowledge first hand. While most things don’t apply to me is neat to see workouts others do and occasionally there are some great readings. The video above is worth the 20 minutes, honestly I sat and watched it multiple times today.

Sharon Prete an OPT member who wrote their blog explains vulnerability: 

The word vulnerable comes from the root “vulnus” which means wound. Someone who feels wounded feels weak and does not own their power.  In other words, they don’t see where they possess power. People feel wounded for all kinds of reasons, generally past events or perceptions that we now call baggage.  When you don’t own your own power, or you feel disempowered, you are self minimizing. Essentially, you are not being you. Someone who sees them self as vulnerable, may go to the extreme polarity in order to break that cycle. They must, in their perception, become daring. It only feels daring to them b/c it’s outside of the wounded mentality that they normally walk around with.

What does it mean to  you to be vulnerable? Although I may run from it I know that it is ultimately part of social relationships. Besides the obvious of being vulnerable in relationships, there are other ways I encounter it too; asking for help, taking responsibility for something that happened at work, and other opportunities that happen that I occasionally pass by. But, why? Why do I and other fear vulnerability? For me it is fear of rejection, fear of not being wanted. I’ve been hurt a lot by family and past relationships. For me it is hard to open up with people and be real-somtimes people take that as being “fake” or disinterested. It is much easier to put up walls  than to be brave and vulnerable and let people in.

For me it is also easier to write how I feel instead of voicing it. For so many years we didn’t communicate as a family I often turned to journaling. Still today we don’t have that communication, if I don’t call my brothers I wouldn’t hear from them. I used to joke with my close friends and say I was just a roommate in my own house because I spent the majority of my time up in my room when I was home; writing or reading. I enjoy talking and sharing, but just at the surface level and usually end up shutting out those who challenge me or force me to share more than I am ready to share.

Perhaps my mental game of my crossfit progress stems from my inability to be vulnerable to let go and push myself to a greater and better me. Day by day I learn to love myself a little more and strive to share more of me with others. Blogging defiantly helps me to be more vulnerable and let go a little more of the tight grasp I have on my fears; in and outside of crossfit.

Brené Brown has a great message and I hope you will gain something wonderful from it too.

-Juls

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