Believe It

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“Believe in yourself and all that you are, know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.”

Just believing in myself is easier said than done. It is no secret that I have major self-confidence issues. At times I have been good about faking it but in tiring to be more vulnerable I have been more vocal about wanting to change my confidence. I have been surrounding myself with positive people who carry the same values on heath, fitness, and training that I do and I have to say that it is allowing me to chip down my wall. Not just because we have the same values but there isn’t the judgement on me and my weirdness–we are able to be real and encourage one another. While I have had great friends over the years, I feel like my new-found friendships are more fulfilling and have greater meaning. 
Confidence not only affects how I feel about myself in clothes, but from time to time it runs into my training. The wall I put up to keep people out I have noticed it is a wall to keep me from pushing myself to failure. While the movements I am more confident in I push harder and see greater gains, but there is just something that causes me to hold back. I’ve heard it for a while, I don’t know my own strength–you are stronger than you show. The last week or so I have started to train with some friends and seeing them push hard through their fears is starting to allow me to chip down my wall and dig into my own strengths. 
I read a blog entry of a great coach the other day, James FitzGerald (OPT). He talked about a documentary that he watched in where the man said it isn’t the end result of the journey–it is the successes you see along the way. Being around greatness everyday is invigorating and educating as well. Each day I read or hear phrases that I carry with me and add to my file cabinet in my brain for the days I need it the most. Numbers are just numbers, it is the small successes along the way I have started to celebrate. 
The most recent celebration is gaining enough confidence to wear shorts out and to the gym to train. It is Arizona and it is hotter than heck here in the summer, you can fry an egg on the asphalt on a hot day. While yoga pants are a great way to hide, I went with my BFF’s and they helped me pick out some shorts for the gym and I am wearing them! 
It’s progress not perfection, making the right choices when you can and not dwelling on the wrong ones!
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